you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
