BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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