he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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