I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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