I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
