Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
