and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She even gives head with a lisp.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
