i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
