I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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