It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
