Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
