; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
