Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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