All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
