Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
