do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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