It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
