Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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