How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
