I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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