And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i now understand why vodka
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
