i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
there is glitter all over my balls
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