Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
