The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
