brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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