I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
