ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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