Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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