He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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