If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
