Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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