I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
