Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
