at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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