I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
