Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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