If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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