Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
