There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
