just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just want nice things and good sex
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
