you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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