U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
