dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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