Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Your shirt... Was in my pants
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
