scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
