You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
