you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We left the knife in your bed.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
