Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
