I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am puke
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
