I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
